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March 31, 2008
Small change
Sometimes when I'm up late, and can't quite get to sleep, I do some online shopping. Sometimes eBay, sometimes Amazon, sometimes Peapod, sometimes iTunes. I was using my laptop for the first time in a long while, and was visiting one of my favorite cooking sites, and I noticed a banner ad. Noticed, because on my desktop I block most ads at the source (lmhosts is your friend), so browsing is entirely different there.
The banner ad was for something called Modest Needs. Being somewhat Objectivist in nature, charity is not something that I support readily. Scandals in recent years with United Way, and lots of other charities with huge huge overhead and very little return on investment make charity and donation ugly words. I'd rather help out friends in need -- when I know that whatever I can give will make an impact in their lives. To me, that's better than tossing money in a giant charity borg existing mainly to fund their next fundraising campaign.
So, I went to the site, and I started reading the requests for grants. Most of the requests were situations that could happen to anyone. Reading the hardships, the choices that people were being forced to make, touched me, because in a very small way, I'd been there myself. I remember being one of the working poor, and I remember how lucky I was to still have family that could afford to send me help when I needed it. After reading through a few pages of requests, I found one that hit home. Instead of buying more clothes, or more housewares, or another video game, I bought points on Modest Needs. I helped a child get an abscessed tooth treated. I paid a vet bill for a disabled person's cat. I helped some seniors pay a hospital bill. All of these relatively small amounts, combined to make a difference in the lives of all those people.
One of the big changes in our circle is a dear friend is getting a divorce, and the woman he's divorcing has decided that she'd like to be one of the most despicable people I've ever met. Despite being able-bodied, well-educated, and fully employed, she's decided she's entitled to destroy his life and bleed every dime from him in legal fees and outrageous demands. She had the audacity to email me and say that she still thought of me as a sister and hoped I felt the same about her.
To her, I say the following: the way you've conducted yourself is repugnant and unconscionable. Your selfish need for attention, for vengeance when there is no wrong to be righted, has quite literally wasted thousands of dollars in legal fees. If you had put that money towards some of these Modest Needs grants, and really focused on helping others in true need, then maybe you wouldn't feel so bad about yourself. Maybe you'd be a better person. Maybe others would like you and want to know you and spend time with you. Maybe you could fill that hole in your heart, the void in your existence, that is driving you to behave like a spoiled child. Buying another seatbelt bag, getting another pedicure of the month, or getting another day spa massage is not going to hide the fact that you are absolutely disgusting.
Posted by jodikins at 1:32 PM | Comments (0)