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August 24, 2006
Prank Calls 101
Dear 11 year old boy with undecended testicles and no pubes who decided to attempt to prank call me at 2:15am last night:
First of all, wow, how retro of you! Random number prank calls are something my generation found mildly entertaining because, well, we didn't have video games or computers. Once we got those things, prank calling random numbers kind of lost its appeal. Perhaps your family is poor like Kenny's and you don't have video games or a computer? I digress.
The fact that this sort of thing just isn't done these days, shone through bright and clear. Sadly, that was the only thing that came through bright and clear. Your efforts were feeble at best, but I'm here to help. Please reference the ground rules for future prank calls.
1.) Commit to your actions and speak LOUDLY and CLEARLY. The second most pathetic thing about your call was the fact that I had to ask you to repeat your schtick no less than three times! Note: if your mom is in the room, perhaps it's not the best time or place to be making prank calls.
2.) Deliver content that is somewhat believable. Smutty content coming from an 11 year old just doesn't fly. When you asked me "How many times do you have sex a day?" all I could think of was 'Does this kid think he called Dr. Drew and LoveLine?' Save the creepy sex stuff for the pathetic old men who know how to heavy breathe into the phone. Given your apparent age and lack of testosterone, stick with funny content, ala Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe.
3.) Stick to weekends. Waking me up at 2:15am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning with a lame, poorly delivered prank call is just not cool. I realize that you're probably bitter about the fact that summer's almost over and in a few short days you're going to have to go back to school, but guess what? Sucks to be you. The rest of the world does not care :) Which brings me to my next point:
4.) Be respectful. You know you're being a brat. I know you're being a brat. When I call you out for your rudeness at waking me up pretty much on a work night, have the decency to man up and apologize. Your utterly lame retort of "Yeah, and I don't care!" was so kindergarten playground of you.
5.) Prank calling is a form of harassment and is technically a crime. Realize that although you feel you were quite clever in *67'ing your number before calling me, given the fact that you called my cell phone, it would be relatively easy to have you tracked down. Though, I guess you wouldn't know that, not having video games or a computer and all.
6.) You only get one shot. Listen to Eminem -- prank calls are once in a lifetime. Calling me back three times clearly violates ground rule #4, and dramatically increases your chances of getting caught, see ground rule #5. You fucked up this call; get over it and move on to the next number.
Hope this helps!
Sincerely,
The old lady whose time you wasted.
Posted by jodikins at 7:09 AM | Comments (0)
August 18, 2006
Snakes on A Plane
Yes, a ton of crap has happened since the last update. No, I don't really feel like hitting on all of it right now. Lots of cleaning, lots of moving shit around, lots of hanging out, and lots of bitching have all occurred. More on that some other time.
We went to go see a 10:05 screening of Snakes on a Plane, and I have not been this entertained by a movie since Kill Bill (Vol.1). It was just so freaking funny, slightly scary in parts (I hate snakes), but I have not laughed that much in quite a long time. We'll definitely go see it again soon!
Posted by jodikins at 12:56 AM | Comments (0)
August 4, 2006
A Weekend to myself
Richard's off to remember why we moved from the swamplands, and I'm alone for the weekend. Aside from babysitting the network, I've just been working on laundry and getting stuff more put away. I want to get the bedroom cleaned up and the master bath. Then I want to continue on the present course of putting all of the clean and folded clothes in the spare bathroom (stacked semi-neatly on the counter), and completely redo the closet in the master bedroom/bath. I'm trying to tackle the organizational issues in the home the way I'd tackle problems in work. Examine the effects and determine what is breaking down in the process flow to cause it.
Problem #1 Dirty Clothes: A couple of sub problems here, first of which being that we don't take off 100% of our clothes in one area. Second subproblem is that we don't have a working laundry hamper system. A few years ago I bought a cart with three laundry bags which should have solved the problem. Unfortunately in this new bathroom, we don't have quite the same amount of room that we did in Ashburn. I tried putting the cart underneath the lower shelf/closet bar, but that makes it hard to get to and it's hidden and thus unused.
Problem #2 Clean Clothes: We don't have enough drawers. We have plenty of closet space, plenty of hangers, but a lot of my clothes should not be hanged -- marks in the shoulders, etc. I need more drawers, period. Not real sure how to solve that. I like Leslie's Elfa stuff, but it ends up costing a ton of money. Maybe if we move the TV to the top of the dresser, we can outfit the entertainment pier shelves with baskets for clothes. Then I can make a simple little curtain to go across the front (which would help lighten the room as well).
Posted by jodikins at 9:48 PM | Comments (0)
August 1, 2006
So far, so good
We've managed to maintain the good sleeping schedule, and that's allowed me to plan my days better. The end of the month task that I hate is almost done -- the incredibly simple part happens tomorrow morning, which means that I'm actually ahead of schedule.
I didn't cook today, but I did try to eat better throughout the day. Tomorrow after I get my work tasks done, I can focus on more kitchen clean up and planning there. I still want to start canning some things -- mainly pickles of a few types, but I really have to have a nice workarea to attempt that. Speaking of work areas, I also want to force Richard to IKEA this week to pick up the table that I want. Then I shall force him to put it together :D
In other news, we still have cleaning tasks to complete, but I'm feeling better about that overall. It's really amazing what a full night's sleep can do for your whole outlook on life. I also need to start coming up with content for Cluttered Minds and figure out when we're going to get that show on the road.
Posted by jodikins at 9:19 PM | Comments (0)