« So. Tired. | Main | Bleh 2: Electric Boogaloo »
November 19, 2005
Bleh
This isn't something that I was going to publish, but last night I had a miscarriage. I'm not really heartbroken or anything, just pretty sore overall.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, it would have been crappy timing to have a baby. On the other hand, I'm almost 34 and that's pretty much getting to the end game as far as fertility goes. It's good that it was early enough along so that I wasn't "officially" pregnant -- I think I'd feel a lot more fucked up about it then.
Gory details in the extended entry, you've been warned.
I didn't realize that I was pregnant, though I suspected it. Last night around 11:20 I had an amazing spontaneous flood of clots. I spent the better part of half an hour in the bathroom as these clots just flowed out of me. Just when i thought it was finished, I'd try to get up and there'd be more. I had richard bring me more toilet paper and new panties and some maxi pads so that I could make it upstairs and shower some. Heather was actually online and talking to me through this. At that point I wasn't really thinking of it as a miscarriage, though I was just praying that the bleeding would stop without intervention. I showered, and there were some more clots and cramping. I took an aleve, and went and layed down for a bit. When I was feeling a bit better and really pretty shaky (hadn't eaten since 5pm and this was 1:30am), Richard and I went out to Jack in the Box. Came home and went to sleep around 2:30. The bleeding had slowed down -- I was no longer filling a super pad and then some every hour, and the clotting had stopped.
Posted by jodikins at November 19, 2005 1:37 AM